The Grinch Who Stole Social Media

Posted by Steve Sharam on 23 December 2011

Everyone in Farmville liked social media a lot
But The Grinch, who lived just North of Farmville, did not.
On top of Mount Social lived the old Grinch,
And all social media just made him flinch.

He hated social media, the whole social season.
Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
Facebook privacy rules might have bugged him outright,
Or the fact that he couldn’t drive traffic to his site.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his friends list was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his rights or his site,
The Grinch hated social media that night.
“Everyone is posting pointless Christmas stuff,
Tumblerbuzz, Flutherzuff.
Second Life and Twitter-Fluff!
“Why for two or three years I've put up with it now
I must stop social media from growing...but how?”
Then the Grinch got an idea, an awful idea.
The Grinch got an awful anti-social idea.

He went down to Farmville.
No one knew he was there.
Everybody was tweeting sweet tweets without care.
Then he came to the first little house on the square.
Their mobile devices, charging all in a row.
"These mobile devices, are the first things to go."

He took every tablet,
He took every gadget.
He took every single device he could manage.
He drove 10000 feet to the top of Mount Social,
And he stopped at the top, set to dump every mobile.

Then he heard a sound rising over the chill,
A sound of singing coming up from Farmville.
It started out low... then it started to grow.
But... this sound didn't sound sad...
This sound sounded... glad!
Everyone down in Farmville, the tall and the small,
Was talking! Without any devices at all!
He HADN'T stopped social networks from growing!
IT grew! Somehow or other, it still kept on going!

And as he stood there, frozen stiff in the snow,
He puzzled and puzzed. How could it be so?
It came without Facebook!
It came without Flickr!
It came without YouTube, Xenga or Twitter!”
The Grinch looked perplexed at his un-social work,
“It came without Smugmug, Jaiku or Plurk!”

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
Being social, he thought, might not be on a phone.
Being social, perhaps, means a little bit more.
And what happened next?
Well, in Farmville they say,
That the Grinch's friends list grew three sizes that day.

Now that his friends list didn't seem quite so small,
He whizzed down the mountain, back to Farmville and all.
He brought back their iPhones,
He brought back their toys,
He brought back their laptops, Backflips and `Droids.
He brought everything back, and checked in from main street,
And he, he himself, the Grinch, sent the first Tweet.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!